James Barrett, PhD

Making friends can be difficult for many boys  The ups and downs of friendships in the childhood and teen years are difficult to navigate and one of the challenges of growing up.  However, some kids have social problems that go beyond the norm.  Unfortunately, many boys feel the need to hide these struggles.  I am sure parents have heard terms such as non-verbal learning disability, Asperger’s Syndrome and pervasive developmental delays.  These terms can be confusing but in general here are a few warning signs to look out for and may signal that your son needs further evaluation:

• your son doesn’t “get it” when it comes to social cues or social pragmatics
• he has a restricted or very specific range of interests
• he doesn’t have a good sense of his body in space (e.g., standing too close)
• he has trouble initiating and maintaining friendships
• he takes things very literally
• he is a concrete thinker

For more information on these issues I recommend visiting  visit www.nldline.com or www.aane.org

Many of the referrals I get form teachers, social workers and PCP’s state that the client needs “anger management.”  I am still struggling with finding a way to make this term relevant and useful to many of the boys with whom I work.  Many of the boys and teens I see tell me that there is no way they will be disrespected and let  anyone, adult or peer, “punk” them.  Thus, I can teach them all of the de-escalation strategies I know but they will not be put into action unless the young person is able to release the burden of having to prove himself in light of a perceived slight.   The trick becomes helping the client understand that true power means knowing how to pick your battles and not allowing anyone and everyone to have the power to make you angry.  Of course, sometimes this message is not well received and therein lies the real challenge of making anger management relevant instead of cliche.

I have had a bevy of grumpy teen boys in my office this week trying to get adjusted to the early waking times that come with back-to-school time.  Many teens get accustomed to staying up late and sleeping in over the summer and then have to shift their sleep pattern radically to make it in by homeroom.  Tardiness early in the school year can set students back early, so here are 3 quick tips for getting a teen’s sleep back on track:

1) Make sure all electronics are shut off at a set time.  Late night texting and messaging can lead to red eyes in the morning.

2) Make sure homework is complete at least an hour before bedtime and books and study materials ideally should not be kept in the bedroom.  The bedroom should be a peaceful place and somewhere where teens can “ramp down” after homework time.

3) Make sure teens don’t deviate from their sleep pattern too drastically on weekends.  If the body is used to an 11-6:30 schedule during the week and then jumps to 3AM-noon on the weekends it makes it awfully hard to switch back to normal on Sunday night