James Barrett, PhD

Many of the referrals I get form teachers, social workers and PCP’s state that the client needs “anger management.”  I am still struggling with finding a way to make this term relevant and useful to many of the boys with whom I work.  Many of the boys and teens I see tell me that there is no way they will be disrespected and let  anyone, adult or peer, “punk” them.  Thus, I can teach them all of the de-escalation strategies I know but they will not be put into action unless the young person is able to release the burden of having to prove himself in light of a perceived slight.   The trick becomes helping the client understand that true power means knowing how to pick your battles and not allowing anyone and everyone to have the power to make you angry.  Of course, sometimes this message is not well received and therein lies the real challenge of making anger management relevant instead of cliche.