James Barrett, PhD

I am prepping for a talk on gangs in schools for a conference this weekend and in going over my notes I am reminded of the primacy of shame in violent conflicts between young men.  James Gilligan’s Violence does an excellent job of laying out the argument that it is shame, rather than anger or rage, that is the true cause of violence.  Indeed, young men who feel disrespected or humiliated are likely to feel the need to retaliate with violence.  Treatment therefore should focus on helping young men feel empowered or to manage conflict without violence rather than traditional “anger management.”  The problem with teaching young men just to “walk away” from conflict is that it fails to attend to the resulting shame that arises from feeling “punked” or “dissed.”