Ay good anger management program is going to teach de-escalation skills. The problem that I have always had with traditional anger management programs is that they teach these skills without context. If you tell a teen boy that he needs to take a deep breath, count to ten and walk away when he is mad he is likely going to look at you like you are nuts. To make these skills a little more interesting and relevant you can teach boys about the fight or flight response that occurs in your body when angry. Boys can often perk up when they learn that blood rushes to their limbs, the emotional part of their brain flares up, concentration becomes intense and focused and a burst of adrenaline rushes to your muscles when angry. This is the body getting ready to “go at it.” This process can be slowed down if the boy recognizes and learns the physiological cues that precede this process (flushed face, tense shoulders, clenched fists) and then relaxation breathing is used. The trick becomes getting boys to buy into slowing this process down. I will talk about how we can do that in Part III coming soon…
Schedule an Appointment:
Office Location
Subscribe to my Newsletter:
Anger Management and Boys Part I
Many of the referrals I get ask for “anger management” for boys or young men. The term “anger management” is so loaded that I am going to take some time on this blog to unpack it and look at what it is, whom it helps, and how it is done best. Research shows that boys will benefit most from anger management if they have a reactive temperament and show remorse for their outbursts. This would include young men with a low frustration tolerance, impulsivity and executive functioning problems as well as some forms of Mood Disorders. Typically, the young person encounters a frustrating situation or perceived threat, struggles to inhibit an angry or explosive response and then feels regret or remorse for his actions afterwards. Conversely, boys or teens who take pleasure in lashing out at others, chronically externalize the blame for their actions on others, or who target others for violent attacks (e.g., waiting afterschool to jump someone to steal his iPod) benefit less from anger management. These boys are better served by a behavioral intervention that links consistent consequences to their actions. Thus, the first step in deciding whether a referral for anger management is appropriate is doing a careful assessment of the young man and his profile of concerning behavior. If he tends to be reactive and shows some remorse for his actions then he is a good candidate, if he tends to display targeted or proactive aggression and externalizes blame for his behavior, he is not an ideal candidate. Next up in this blog series: how do we couch anger management so that it is relevant to young men?