James Barrett, PhD

Once we have helped boys to better understand how their emotions work, the impact of self-soothing and the feeling of empowerment that can come with self-control, the final thing we need is to encourage outlets for competitive activity.  Bill Pollack talked about the importance of boys having an outlet and without question boys often relate and communicate through competition.  The specific outlet doesn’t matter, sports, video games, rapping, battle of the bands, etc, the important thing is that a boy has a chance to feel that he “kicked ass” every once in awhile.  There is nothing wrong with feeling cool and empowered and the more a boy feels that way the less he feels he has to take on all comers or “step up” to anyone who slights him.  Remember, a little friendly competition can go a long way.