One of the questions I get from parents of acting out teens is, “what can I do?” Well, thanks to Nancy Rappaport, M.D. for giving me the heads up on an idea coined by the folks over at the ASAP Program at Children’s Hospital: the 7 C’s of Parental Leverage. The 7 C’s are as follows: cash, credit card, checks, car, cellphone, computer curfew. Parents should remember that you pay for or control all of these commodities, which are considered precious by teens. Yes, they may pitch a fit if you restrict them, but too bad –that’s your call. There are going to be instances when as parents you need to enforce consequences and timeouts won’t work anymore. The 7 C’s, learn them, know them, live them.
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Navigating the Storms of Adolescence
One of the things I often tell parents who consult with me is that half the battle in dealing with their troubled adolescents is just getting them through the teen years safely. Now there is some new research to back me up: http://bit.ly/d65X5H. It turns out that adolescence is indeed a time of storm and stress: some mental health problems first appear, other existing problems become worse. The good news? Once teens reach about 23-25 years old their frontal lobes are fully developed in their brains and they are better equipped to manage mental health issues. Until then, buckle up, pick your battles, find good help, and remember that it doesn’t last forever!
Walking the Walk
In a suburb of Boston a football coach and a father got into a fight over whether his son should run laps after he was late due to father’s fault: http://bit.ly/3WMshv
The most disappointing part of this story in my opinion is that in front of these boys to grown men arranged to get into a fistfight to resolve their dispute. I am sure these boys will hear talks from coaches, school administrators and messages from the media about sportsmanship and conflict resolution. Unfortunately, these boys witnessed a prime example of “do as I say not what I do.” Even as I type this the Broncos and Chargers are getting into a tussle on the field before their nationally televised game. Messages about violence prevention sound hollow until we as adult back them up with our actions. Hopefully this incident can serve as a reminder.
Know what's in your medicine cabinet
One of the disturbing trends among youth today is “pill parties.” These are gatherings where teens bring prescription pills or over-the-counter cold medicines to a party and mix the medications with alcohol. It goes without saying that mixing medications can be deadly. Thankfully, drug stores and supermarkets are recognizing this trend and putting cold medicine behind the counter and asking for ID before purchase. However, many parents are not as diligent when it comes to accounting for the old medications in the home. It is so important for parents to take the initiative and keep prescription pills and medications in a safe place. If you have old meds left over in the medicine cabinet, flush them. Finally, while you may be sure that your kids would never take medications from the home but you cannot be sure that friends or acquaintances that come to the home won’t take medications if they are accessible. It sounds cliche, but a little prevention goes a long way.
Welcome to my blog
Welcome and thanks for reading. I will be blogging about issues relevant to the mental health of boys and teens. I am a psychologist from Cambridge, MA who specializes in treating hard-to-reach boys and teens. Boys who act out can be a true challenge for parents, teachers and other professionals. Unfortunately, many boys are resistant to seeking help for behavioral or mental health problems because they worry it will mean they are weird or different. My goal is to help make mental health treatment more relevant and helpful for boys and teens as well as to help parents and teachers respond to boys and teens in trouble.