One of the questions I get from parents of acting out teens is, “what can I do?” Well, thanks to Nancy Rappaport, M.D. for giving me the heads up on an idea coined by the folks over at the ASAP Program at Children’s Hospital: the 7 C’s of Parental Leverage. The 7 C’s are as follows: cash, credit card, checks, car, cellphone, computer curfew. Parents should remember that you pay for or control all of these commodities, which are considered precious by teens. Yes, they may pitch a fit if you restrict them, but too bad –that’s your call. There are going to be instances when as parents you need to enforce consequences and timeouts won’t work anymore. The 7 C’s, learn them, know them, live them.
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Navigating the Storms of Adolescence
One of the things I often tell parents who consult with me is that half the battle in dealing with their troubled adolescents is just getting them through the teen years safely. Now there is some new research to back me up: http://bit.ly/d65X5H. It turns out that adolescence is indeed a time of storm and stress: some mental health problems first appear, other existing problems become worse. The good news? Once teens reach about 23-25 years old their frontal lobes are fully developed in their brains and they are better equipped to manage mental health issues. Until then, buckle up, pick your battles, find good help, and remember that it doesn’t last forever!
3 Ways to Beat the Summertime Blues
This has been a tough summer for many of the teen boys who I work with. Jobs are scarce, they are too old for camp and many are bored and restless. This combination often results in sleeping late, increased time in front of video games and computer screens, and frequent arguments with parents over what they are doing with their summer. If this sounds familiar, here are three quick suggestions for teens to help beat the summertime blues:
1) Join a gym or YMCA. It has been particularly hot this summer and teens often feel it is too hot to go to the local outdoor court or park. However, gym memberships have dropped in price and offer an air-conditioned alternative to outdoor activities. Your son is also more likely to go if he can find a few friends to join with him.
2) Pursue an artistic endeavor. Summer is a great time to pick up a musical instrument, record hip hop music with friends using music software, start painting or drawing, or start writing a blog. Everyone has some form of artistic creativity and summer –when the pressures of school are temporarily at bay– is rife with opportunity to try out new artistic avenues.
3) Take some weekend trips. While many families have to understandably cut back on long vacations, there are still plenty of short weekend trips that are inexpensive (e.g., camping, fishing, day trip to the beach or lake) and fun. These short trips can help to break up the monotony of being at home over a long summer.