Recently, there has been attention in the news regrading employers asking interviewees for their Facebook password. The debate has centered around the fact that Facebook has settings that can keep some posting private from a general audience (i.e., potential employers). I have seen less attention paid to Twitter, whose communications are basically public to all. In my experience, teens aged 17-20 are especially at-risk for postings that they could regret come time to apply for their first internships or jobs –Twitter will probably be long gone by the time 12 year olds now are ready to apply for jobs. While adults tend to use Twitter to post professional material, teens use it to communicate with friends and their tweets are open for anyone to see; there is no friending on Twitter. This became clear to me the other day when a sports reporter whom I follow re-tweeted a post from her 19 year old brother. When you click on it you can see his whole twitter feed which included lots of colorful language and subject matter I am sure he would rather not have adults see. The tricky part for teens is that they are wired to be loose with their talk at this age and not think of the long-term consequences of what they say. While in the past these conversations could be kept within the confines of locker rooms and basements now they are preserved on the internet. How many of us would like our current employers to be privy to the conversations we had with friends when we were 17 or 18? So, a word of caution may be helpful to teens to “think before you tweet.” You never know who is or will be looking at your twitter feed.
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The 7 C’s of Parental Leverage
One of the questions I get from parents of acting out teens is, “what can I do?” Well, thanks to Nancy Rappaport, M.D. for giving me the heads up on an idea coined by the folks over at the ASAP Program at Children’s Hospital: the 7 C’s of Parental Leverage. The 7 C’s are as follows: cash, credit card, checks, car, cellphone, computer curfew. Parents should remember that you pay for or control all of these commodities, which are considered precious by teens. Yes, they may pitch a fit if you restrict them, but too bad –that’s your call. There are going to be instances when as parents you need to enforce consequences and timeouts won’t work anymore. The 7 C’s, learn them, know them, live them.
Navigating the Storms of Adolescence
One of the things I often tell parents who consult with me is that half the battle in dealing with their troubled adolescents is just getting them through the teen years safely. Now there is some new research to back me up: http://bit.ly/d65X5H. It turns out that adolescence is indeed a time of storm and stress: some mental health problems first appear, other existing problems become worse. The good news? Once teens reach about 23-25 years old their frontal lobes are fully developed in their brains and they are better equipped to manage mental health issues. Until then, buckle up, pick your battles, find good help, and remember that it doesn’t last forever!
3 Ways to Beat the Summertime Blues
This has been a tough summer for many of the teen boys who I work with. Jobs are scarce, they are too old for camp and many are bored and restless. This combination often results in sleeping late, increased time in front of video games and computer screens, and frequent arguments with parents over what they are doing with their summer. If this sounds familiar, here are three quick suggestions for teens to help beat the summertime blues:
1) Join a gym or YMCA. It has been particularly hot this summer and teens often feel it is too hot to go to the local outdoor court or park. However, gym memberships have dropped in price and offer an air-conditioned alternative to outdoor activities. Your son is also more likely to go if he can find a few friends to join with him.
2) Pursue an artistic endeavor. Summer is a great time to pick up a musical instrument, record hip hop music with friends using music software, start painting or drawing, or start writing a blog. Everyone has some form of artistic creativity and summer –when the pressures of school are temporarily at bay– is rife with opportunity to try out new artistic avenues.
3) Take some weekend trips. While many families have to understandably cut back on long vacations, there are still plenty of short weekend trips that are inexpensive (e.g., camping, fishing, day trip to the beach or lake) and fun. These short trips can help to break up the monotony of being at home over a long summer.