When working with boys to help them avoid violence and aggression it is difficult not to be frustrated by the pervasive messages in society that condone and even encourage violence when “justified.” To start, there is even a TV show called “Justified” where a marshall frequently shoots bad guys but is always cleared of wrongdoing because it is, you guess it, “justified.” Just about every action movie that scores big at the box office involves some variation of the theme of the hero getting even with the villain. Even in comedies we see the same themes played out; Marty McFly in “Back to the Future” finally gets even with Biff the bully by punching his lights out as the audience cheers. In the world of sports, if you watch a baseball game and a batter shows up the pitcher after hitting a home run you can be pretty certain the next time that batter is up he is going to get a hard ball thrown directly at him at about 90 mph. Likewise, if a hockey player takes what is perceived as a cheap shot at another player, the offending player better be ready to drop his gloves and fight the “enforcer” from the other team the next time they meet on the ice. I believe that our violence prevention efforts need to acknowledge and address “justified violence” and the very real bind that boys are in when they feel disrespected or threatened. If they fight back they get in trouble, if they walk away they feel a deep sense of shame. Yet, boys and young men get bombarded with images and messages in our culture that value striking back when you are wronged. It is what “real men” do; it is the American way. Don’t believe me? Think that all of these examples just come from sports and pop culture? Here is a transcript (click for link to video) of part of Joe Biden’s nomination speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2008. Remember, this speech would have been intensely scrutinized by speech writers for any message or implication that would turn off the American public.
Seems pretty clear to me.